More Than We Bargained For

Here at BLL, it’s messier than a Mexican Olive Garden.

You may or may not have noticed the Weekly isn’t really weekly anymore. You could say it’s weakly. Sorry, anyway, it does make things more difficult for two people who also have regular jobs to tend to. For that reason, Baby Lawn Weekly’s submissions are hereby closed, but still submit. We will still do Baby Lawn Literature. Only now Baby Lawn Literature will absorb the criteria for the weekly edition, so now BLL will include short and/or humorous poems and flash fiction.

The Submission Guidelines will be altered to correspond to this.

-Ashley Bach, BLL founder and co-editor.

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A Poem by Fred Lamanna

A Sonnet to the Goddess Febris

Yes they were quite small in their size for a pair of feet they made a statement

Painting around the town like no one knew what was causing the commotion

Paving the way for a row of older gentlemen who knew not how to saunter by

This must be the routine for the elegant masterpiece to be painted in regiment

Lowering the strains of the most commonplace blue bell ringing from a motion

Only to seethe for a quick sick chance second she had a movement only to sigh

Clustering around the decks and fatal balconies you should be able to hear a lot

But not that that would matter to a pagan guest showing his know vital qualities

Assured of the reaching stealth she could master the vague outpourings with cheers

Lonely the victims take on a raging fever overflowing into a crusty table with a spot

Lowering the spiteful moment it can assault the most ugly version of many vanities

Hovering about the quicker taunt tight frigid posturing composing for rapid jeers


Fred LaManna resides in Chicago.  He has modeled this Sonnet after the Illuminations of Rimbaud (New Testament of Poetry).  There are 41 more sonnets in The Goddess Cycle.

Review – Jacob M. Appel’s EINSTEIN’S BEACH HOUSE

By Ashley Bach

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Einstein’s Beach House, the short story collection of Jacob M. Appel is populated by teachers, doctors, rabbis, people who used to be teachers, people who pretend to be doctors, people who pretend that their house once belonged to Einstein, a pair of teen girls breaking into a sexual predator’s house, a couple dealing with a depressed pet hedgehog, PEOPLE who seem real despite their unbelievable lives. Unbelievable in a good way. If you who take their coffee black with a hint of sugar, you will find this book to fit your tastes. Not to say that’s the only way you can enjoy the stories. Throughout the collection the illness recurs, having some effect on characters in some way. Mental illnesses and physical illnesses permeate, and by extension a fixation on mortality.

It’s easy to imagine that each story takes place in the same universe. It’s a universe of literary folks, and people who want more for themselves and loved ones. In the first story of the collection, “Hue and Color,” the main character’s father opines, “I fear I’ve taught you girls too much grammar and not enough forgiveness.” “The Rod of Asclepius,” one of the darker stories, a Manhattan doctor recounts accompanying her father on his nefarious hospital visits. Visits the latter deemed as being a way of changing the world and being for the narrator’s dead mother.

Stories like “The Rod of Asclepius,” the eponymous story, and “Limerence,” work as retrospectives. They are first person narrations that relay the distance the narrator has from the events recounted, and reflect on them, while giving tidbits of information of where they are now in life, as they tell the story.

Not only can Appel construct a fascinating concept, but he can carry it out, making sure that every aspect of the story is on par with the appeal of the plot, such as it is with “Paracosmos.” A beautiful title; science fiction like, and it’s about a worry wart mother receiving a visit from her daughter’s imaginary friend. It has it’s predictability, but the occurrences of anything predictable are minimal, and sometimes, as with “Paracosmos,” there is a point where the reader can see where things are going, but they can continue to read to see if this is actually going to be where the story leads. You wonder if this is for real, and you end up surprised.

Key features of the writing are the moments of profundity, so eloquent they jar you from the quirkiness or the darkness with this speck of fantasy. A prime example comes from Einstein’s Beach House.”

My sister looked up at me and asked, “Is this what nuclear winter is like.”

Often times Appel portrays his males as dreamers and his women as voices of reason. In addition, the females are more often than not are emotionally burdened, but he shows the flaws of both sexes in a way that we as a society have been normal for the norms, not to say it appears sexist. He seems to pay as much attention to female psyches as he does to male, and this balance of gender diversity is something that can be appreciated. There aren’t any definable archetypes. No manic pixie dream girls. No Humbert Humberts. Pretty much every child in the collection is precocious, but Appel manages to make them a pleasant aspect to the stories they are featured in.

The effectiveness of this line directly comes from the place where it occurs, during a domestic dispute between the narrator of the story’s mother and father. It comes from a child, and it’s in a nice indented line before the next break in the page.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. See for yourself!

Flash Fiction

Centaurs and Minotaurs

Romana Guillotte

“I don’t understand…” Cristal stammered.

“You don’t understand this?” Dr. Roots asked as he pointed to the diagram on the board–a sort of ascending staircase of obstacles.

“This is what we’re suggesting. What do you see?” Doug asked, soothing his fiancée with a hand caress.

Cristal looked at the seven faces in the workshop. “You guys don’t understand my work!”

“Now don’t get defensive, we just want to understand your vision,” Dr. Roots put his hands up to calm her-–like she was about to explode.

Jameson rolled his eyes. “Don’t be that person…”

Alison snorted. “Like that woman that wore all that turquoise?”

“Cat poetry was banned the second she walked in the room.” Dr. Roots put his hand to his face.

“It’s not poetry! It’s a love story between minotaurs and centaurs…they are majestic beings!” Cristal burst a little too passionately.

“Granted, we just think the story could be simpler and the names not so complicated…”

“I used traditional Greek names…”

“Yes, yes. But it interrupts the flow,” Jameson noted. “Perhaps names that aren’t five syllables?”

Nods all around. “The plot is pulled directly from myths-–I don’t want to patronize my audience by spoon-feeding them.”

Dr. Roots nodded too. “We’re not asking you to.  Have you considered stretching it out a bit? Making it a novella or

novel for example?”

Cristal beamed suddenly. “You think it could be a novel?”

“Totally!” Jameson said. “I dig it!”

More nods. “I guess I could play around with description and things like that.”

Dr. Roots let out a sigh and made a motion that meant ‘pass her your corrections’. “See we are looking to help you!”

“How often do you guys meet?”

“Weekly for a month, once a quarter,” Alison said. “It really helps; I feel I’ve come a long way.”

Dr. Roots nodded now. “Having a fresh pair of eyes is a fantastic and under-utilized tool.”

Cristal leafed through colorfully corrected pages-–some with a lot of notes, some with few. It was more than she initially

expected. “Yes, I understand now.”


Romana Guillotte has an MFA in Writing for Dramatic Media from the UNLV, where she also received a BA in Film Studies and a BA in English. Though more importantly is a terribly average cellist and is a ginger that loves dragons. She’s had short fiction appear in “Foliate Oak Literary Magazine”, “Slink Chunk Press”, and “The J.J. Outré Review”


A Note From the Editors

As you should all be well aware of by now, the first full issue of BLL comes out a week after tomorrow!

Remember that submissions are open until next Tuesday. Send us your prose, art, and poetry!

It’s been decided, since there will be a full issue coming out the week of the 14th, there will not be a Baby Lawn Weekly that week. This is a two-many operation, we’re just trying to make things the tiniest bit easier on ourselves. Sorry.

Anyway, there will still be a BLW for the 7th. Send us short fiction and poetry!

Have a good week, everybody!

-The Editors